Saturday, May 7, 2011

The difference...

It's been a long time since I posted about my boys. It's been a long time since I could think about them and  not miss them like crazy. I still think about them. A lot. But I noticed something the other day. When I think of 
them now...I don't think of them the way they were at the end. I remember them young, and healthy and full of life. I still miss them, but there isn't this incredible weight of sadness about missing them anymore. Something
has happened, my heart has freed my mind to remember them in a good way and in doing that...I can remember their last days without so much pain associated with it. 
I still feel them with me sometimes. I lay in bed and feel a momentary weight across my legs and know that Tuffy has found me.  I feel a nudge at my head sometimes and know that Little J is there.  Maybe it's just my physical self remembering, but something tells me that the two little guys who own my heart are always there. Always.  Life goes on. Love will always go on. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi there,

    I followed you over here from MckMama's blog because I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for the struggles you have had with infertility and also the loss of your cats. I have been in your shoes for both of these things. My cat, Dante, was killed by a car three years ago and it still is very painful for me. This happened during a time when I was certain I would never be a mother. It was terrible and I would never wish either situation on anyone. People can be so rude on MckMama's blog. I completely understand that when you wish you could have your own kids, it really sucks to hear other people telling "humorous" stories about being careless with the children they DO have. Your opinion was valid and politely expressed. Sorry people jumped on you. I wish you the very best and I hope that your dreams will be fulfilled very soon.

    Tara L from AZ