Saturday, May 7, 2011

The difference...

It's been a long time since I posted about my boys. It's been a long time since I could think about them and  not miss them like crazy. I still think about them. A lot. But I noticed something the other day. When I think of 
them now...I don't think of them the way they were at the end. I remember them young, and healthy and full of life. I still miss them, but there isn't this incredible weight of sadness about missing them anymore. Something
has happened, my heart has freed my mind to remember them in a good way and in doing that...I can remember their last days without so much pain associated with it. 
I still feel them with me sometimes. I lay in bed and feel a momentary weight across my legs and know that Tuffy has found me.  I feel a nudge at my head sometimes and know that Little J is there.  Maybe it's just my physical self remembering, but something tells me that the two little guys who own my heart are always there. Always.  Life goes on. Love will always go on.